The world’s largest cruise liner visits Deptford but refuses to tell anyone.
Henry Moore’s sculpture returns to Greenwich Park just after I’ve made lots of fuss about nothing to impress a French girl.
A five-year-old labrador that was swept up in the excitement of the 2011 London riots lives to regret looting Primark.
Some thoughts on the sexual politics of pedestrian-controlled traffic lights and why Brussels fills me with horror.
How the National Maritime Museum is providing new opportunities for French people to shrug and go “bof”.
Is transpontine mating safe, or is the unholy union of a Bethnal Green girl and a Bermondsey boy likely to produce some sterile mule-like creature, useful only as a beast of burden or underworld goon?
Protests regarding the plethora of new chain restaurants at Greenwich pierhead stall when fossil records show that chickens first emerged on the small Greek island of Nandos.
How only Penge Homebase, out of all south-east London’s DIY superstores, seems to have grasped that Christmas is an annual event.
An unwelcome discovery on the meridian line makes me question whether padlocks have any role in a loving relationship.
The 2011 London riots: while Tottenham is in flames, Chipping Norton is in Oxfordshire.